#7 Skydiving Grandpas

On June 11th is the most anticipated holiday of the year. It's called Health Day. Every June 11th, from 12am to 11:59pm, everyone has flawless health. Injuries are temporarily healed. Heart attacks are postponed. Cancer patients experience a day with no restrictions. Traditions mean doing absolutely crazy activities. Nursing homes take a fieldtrip to go skydiving. Grandparents and their grandchildren play nightgames together. The whole thing is like Make-A-Wish times three. Instead of concerning the health of patients and money to provide the wishes they desire, there will be no money restraints. Health Day originated in 1991 when a doctor found a way to send universal health through satellites. Unfortunately, this health care only lasts for 24 hours and it takes a full year to generate enough power so we savor the day. People make plans and reservations to do daring things a year in a half. Health Day is meant to give people the last chance to do that one crazy thing and spend just a little more time with family and friends.

#6 Enough of That!

An intricately decorated, vanilla frosted, chocolate cake sits in front of you. The candles are flickering and you prepare to wish for those Legos or that Barbie you've been dying for. Your friends surround the table in anticipation of their slice of the cake. One brave voice leads the others in unison. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy bir-" and a squeal of twenty seperate pitches burst through the air and the flames waver in front of you. The song is finished, uncertain of where it began and you don't even remember what you meant to wish for so you switch your wish. You wish that singing off-key was illegal. That's the law I would love to put into effect. The reason this should be a law is that most people who sing poorly don't even realize it. They constantly embarrass themselves without knowledge of it and call attention to the unattractive quality. Those of us who are able to sing well and know the difference between a B flat and a D sharp are the ones who realize it. We are also constantly annoyed by it. Just one voice can throw off an entire group of singers. This tends to anger the on-key singers of the group. Singing off key can cause pain in other people and that makes it worthy of being a law. The word would be a happier place if everyone could hit the right notes, especially in the singing of joyful tune such as Happy Birthday.