#3 Salty Air

I can taste the salt in the air, even though I'm thousands of feet away from the water.  The blues of the ocean sing to me, telling a story that seems so close to my reality.  The water wants to be freed from the depths of sand.  With every wave that breaks onto the shore, it yearns to continue forward.  Every time it is pulled back down into the rush of sand and rocks, away from opportunity.  This is where I come when I need to get away from people, work, or just life.  I feel secure here although I'm a few stories above the ground.  I know no one can reach me and I cannot see anyone.  I forget that I am not the only one living on this Earth.  I occasionally wish I was the only one living here, light-years away from anyone who would ever judge what they see in me.  How would I miss people if I had never felt connected to any of them?  All I see, taste, hear, and smell is the water brushing onto the shore, the leaves bristling against each other, the wind calling my name.  My surroundings are my acquaintances and they are all I need here.  I can sit on the ledge and know that the wind will be blowing my hair back, making sure that I won't become unsteady in the wrong direction.  The humidity rising from the water keeps my lips moist and my eyes bright.  I am content now, but I know I must return to reality and reality must return to me.  Life.

#2 Totally Awesome Fansite!!

So I was looking at this fansite of me, and there's only one thing I can say about it. That's hot. I'm totally kidding because there's so much to say about it...because it's all about everything I do. It has a ton of pictures of me so I can look at how good I look. There are advertisements for things that people totally don't need but they can make them hotter so...whatever. They also have the clothes that I designed that look super good on me because I weigh like 90 pounds. They might not look good on you so you might want to lose like 60 pounds before you try any of them. So this site also has tons of information about me which makes it really easy for people to stalk me but that's all right because I know they're true fans at heart. Oh and you guys should also check me out on TV. I have my own TV show where I talk about me and I look hot in it. If you saw me when I did that one show about doing nasty jobs that's awesome. I look even hotter now because I got a nose job that cost like $600,000. I'm trying to convince the people who made this site to like set up a webcam for me so people can see me every second of every day of my life. I totally think people would watch it like all the time. I know I would if I wasn't busy living. They need more pictures of my super cute dog that I bring everywhere. Other than that, this site is hot. Check it out bitches.

Ciao!!

#1 The Out-of-this-Universe Key

Kindergarteners:  

There is a man, a window, and a key.  The key is floating.  The man is reaching for the key.  The key starts up his spaceship.  He flies around all of the stars.  His body is on the moon up in the sky.  He only brought his arm and his head with him.  Hopefully the key will float toward him and not away from him.  If it floats away from him, his body is stuck on the moon.

Space Aliens:

Greetings.  Dorien is reaching for his key which seems to be trapped in a zero-gravity area.  The key starts his spaceship and he is constantly dropping it!  If it floats toward him, we'll all be happy.  If it floats away from him, you may need to be patient with us.  His body is still stranded on Jupiter.  If you wouldn't mind taking care of it, we'd be forever in debt to you.  Oh, and his left arm reportedly is separated from the rest of his body.